[Luckily the message lingers so he can read it a second, third time. He -- huh. Huh?]
Hold on. Let me get this straight. You know someone who's here, but was dead the last thing they remember?
[When he really considers it, it's not the craziest shit he's seen, and that's not even including Abraxas. If people can turn into fuckin' demons, why not bring back the dead?
But it's not natural. No matter what kind of shit it involves.] What's your question?
[ he knows he brought this up, but seeing it repeated back to him like that has steve's stomach dropping. has him remembering...well. too much. more than he wants to.
but if nero's never dealt with anything like this, he might not know the feeling. but it's also nero, and if steve was gonna ask anyone for advice. well. nero's kinda always the first person he thinks of. ]
I guess I'm just lost on how to handle it it's been a year now and he hasn't talked about it like- WE'VE never talked about it? even though I know and I know HE'S thinking about it even if he won't say anything but I don't know if that's even something you like ask about or if he would even want to talk about it? I don't know I feel like there's something I'm not doing
[If you ask Nero, this is absolutely above his paygrade. He doesn't think there's a soul alive who's ever come to him for advice about anything... emotional. (Or anything in general.) If anything, Nero has always had Kyrie to go to himself. And her advice has never led him astray.
He wishes she was here. And it's a shitty, selfish thing to want. But speaking of years -- he hasn't seen her in over one, and it's the longest he's ever been away from her.
Fuck. She would know what to say. But he can't leave Steve hanging, either.]
I'm not gonna lie and say I know what to do, man. I don't. But I guess -- I guess think about it from his side. If you were dead, would you wanna talk about it? What's there to say? He's gotta deal with the idea if he leaves this place, he might not... you know. Best thing you can do is just be there for him. If he wants to talk about it, then yeah, sure. But I sure as hell wouldn't push the topic. It probably really fuckin' sucks for him.
Do and say the things that make him feel alive. That's the best you can do, right?
[ yes well nero, as it turns out, this happens to be your exact paygrade for your older brother position. because steve doesn't know what to do, and without his other half (aka robin) to throw every thought he ever has at, he sits and he festers, and then he worries, and then he feels awful and feels like he's about to do something he regrets, so rather than doing any of that he has decided to message nero.
can't nero feel the nervous energy?
still, he does get an answer. and steve knows that what he's asking for is a lot, and that there probably isn't a right or wrong answer at all. just an answer, just a direction, and that's all he's really looking for. eddie's been the person he's gone to for most of these weird questions for the last year, and now that it's about eddie, well. nero was obviously going to be next. ]
I don't know I think it's more that like he's definitely thinking about it and it's been bothering him and he's definitely more...i don't know smart? or like- thinks about those kinds of things more and I didn't know if that whole idea of where if you talk about stuff you feel better actually counts with something like this
but okay yeah that makes more sense to me I've been trying to just sorta be there who knows if it actually helps or anything but we're coming up on the like year anniversary thing of us being here so I feel like it's going to be...worse? somehow
yeah okay thanks man I know this was weird and everything it's just been bothering me
[If he was any closer to Steve, he'd be choking on the nervous energy. So yeah, he feels it.]
Oh. Yikes. A year? Seriously?
[Okay, that sort of changes things. He might not know what it's like to be dead, but he got close. And the pit... the pit's the closest he'll ever get. Steve was there. Was his friend? Did they both suffer through that shit, too?]
Look, it's not the same, but you've been through some shit, too. We almost died. And if it's been that wrong, and it's lookin' like something's wrong... fuck it, maybe you do need to bring it up. Not push it. But bring it up. Let him know he could broach it. That you'd listen. That you'd try to get it.
I guess... that's what I'd do, for what happened to us. It's what I would've wanted.
yeah it happened right before he was summoned here or whatever i was summoned like, right after too not much but we've both been here a year
[ doing a real great job here keeping someone's identity a secret, steve. really fantastic job. ]
but that's different or it feels different it has to be, right? knowing that there's a bunch of people here who talk about going home and that he just can't the pit was bad don't get me wrong i'm not trying to say it's not but this whole place is kinda really fucked up even when it's not it is the pit was bad but i feel like ever since i got pulled out of that freaking lake shit's been bad and it's only getting worse but it's also...i don't know. it's kind of the only place he has, now
[ did steve need to share all of that? not at all. and if this conversation had been in person, the ranting without meaning to energy would be there, while nero would watch steve pace back and forth, like there's some thing he's trying to get to but just can't quite reach.
but nero has a point, and there's a moment or two here where steve doesn't respond. where he just looks over the writing, maybe you do need to bring it up and it's what i would've wanted and. shit. ]
yeah yeah okay that that is kind of what i was thinking thanks i know i kinda dumped this all on you but helped
[ does he know anything about this stuff? no. has this really helped him figure out what to do about this whole thing? kind of. is he now thinking, and kind of unable to stop thinking, about what nero said?
it's what i would've wanted.
before too long, nero's going to end up with another quickly scribbled message from steve. if there's any way for it to happen this way, it comes smaller, almost quieter. ]
you know you can talk to me if you want to, too right? i know i wasn't there at the end of it but yeah only if you want to
[Not hard to guess this is weighing on the kid considering the novel Nero gets in return -- very stream of consciousness -- but he's patient, reading and taking it all in. Steve needs him, which is... fucking weird, if you ask him, but he can't say he minds it. He's been needed before. It's not a bad feelings. Just surprising considering he'd only taken Steve on because he'd promised Geralt he wouldn't let him die to a monster attack.]
Kid, if you think the pit ain't that bad to the point you can talk about it like that, I don't wanna know what else you've gone through.
[Or Nero is recognizing it did something to him that maybe it never did to humans. To someone like Steve, where a dedicated duck could kill him. Nero's lived his life up to this point like nothing could... until magic bullshit and a hole in an island changed his mind.
Fuck. He doesn't want to think about it.]
Don't worry about it. This place is ass, but it's still just another world. And if it brought your friend back to life... I mean, I don't think it's bad to appreciate that. For you, or for him. Or to be fucked up about it.
[That's probably all he can say on it. Steve's gonna have to approach it, in the end, though Nero doesn't mind helping after, either.
He thinks that's it. Steve will either bring it up or he won't, but -- of course there's one last thing.
Nero almost scoffs at it. Not in derision, but in non-surprise. Of course. Not that he ever thought about it himself.]
Yeah. I guess I know now. Thanks, buddy.
[He's not sure Steve's ready for the whole thing, though. It was weird enough trying to explain the tail and wings. Just magic.]
[ unfortunately for nero, that 'taking steve on as a favor for geralt' has grown into something a lot more - at least from steve's perspective. and a large part of it might have to do with simply how much time they've had around each other in solvunn, another large part might be the pit itself. whatever it is, steve doesn't even think twice about the novel he sends - it all just sort of spills out of him, not all that different from if he were pacing a room with robin sitting across from him, just needing someone to listen.
( god, he misses her. )
but talking to nero also isn't hard. whatever it is that's led them here, steve feels like he can. doesn't feel like he's being judged. even when nero calls him kid, steve feels like he's got something from this. ]
I didn't mean that or- I don't know. maybe I did? it was still bad but it feels like everything's been bad since I got here with just different breaks in between that aren't as bad
[ it's a good thing steve can't get any of nero's inner dialogue, because while the 'dedicated duck' comment isn't wrong, it would definitely hurt his feelings.
but nero's point does still stand - steve feels better because he's now got a next step, a plan. really, steve needs to come out and tell nero one of these days just how much he does help, but that would involve a lot more talking and emotions than either of them are really...capable of in this moment. ]
yeah you're right this really helped
[ and that's all there really is to say. steve knows what he needs to do with eddie, knows what he's going to do. and now nero...well. now nero knows he can talk to steve too. he doesn't know if nero is actually taking it into account, but it is a first step. a reminder. ]
[At least he only just stops himself from sending an impulse it did? The same way he would when Kyrie would say it to him. As if he could help her even a modicum of the ways she helped him.
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Hold on. Let me get this straight. You know someone who's here, but was dead the last thing they remember?
[When he really considers it, it's not the craziest shit he's seen, and that's not even including Abraxas. If people can turn into fuckin' demons, why not bring back the dead?
But it's not natural. No matter what kind of shit it involves.] What's your question?
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but if nero's never dealt with anything like this, he might not know the feeling. but it's also nero, and if steve was gonna ask anyone for advice. well. nero's kinda always the first person he thinks of. ]
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He wishes she was here. And it's a shitty, selfish thing to want. But speaking of years -- he hasn't seen her in over one, and it's the longest he's ever been away from her.
Fuck. She would know what to say. But he can't leave Steve hanging, either.]
I'm not gonna lie and say I know what to do, man. I don't. But I guess -- I guess think about it from his side. If you were dead, would you wanna talk about it? What's there to say? He's gotta deal with the idea if he leaves this place, he might not... you know. Best thing you can do is just be there for him. If he wants to talk about it, then yeah, sure. But I sure as hell wouldn't push the topic. It probably really fuckin' sucks for him.
Do and say the things that make him feel alive. That's the best you can do, right?
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can't nero feel the nervous energy?
still, he does get an answer. and steve knows that what he's asking for is a lot, and that there probably isn't a right or wrong answer at all. just an answer, just a direction, and that's all he's really looking for. eddie's been the person he's gone to for most of these weird questions for the last year, and now that it's about eddie, well. nero was obviously going to be next. ]
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Oh. Yikes. A year? Seriously?
[Okay, that sort of changes things. He might not know what it's like to be dead, but he got close. And the pit... the pit's the closest he'll ever get. Steve was there. Was his friend? Did they both suffer through that shit, too?]
Look, it's not the same, but you've been through some shit, too. We almost died. And if it's been that wrong, and it's lookin' like something's wrong... fuck it, maybe you do need to bring it up. Not push it. But bring it up. Let him know he could broach it. That you'd listen. That you'd try to get it.
I guess... that's what I'd do, for what happened to us. It's what I would've wanted.
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but nero has a point, and there's a moment or two here where steve doesn't respond. where he just looks over the writing, maybe you do need to bring it up and it's what i would've wanted and. shit. ][ does he know anything about this stuff? no. has this really helped him figure out what to do about this whole thing? kind of. is he now thinking, and kind of unable to stop thinking, about what nero said?
it's what i would've wanted.
before too long, nero's going to end up with another quickly scribbled message from steve. if there's any way for it to happen this way, it comes smaller, almost quieter. ]
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Kid, if you think the pit ain't that bad to the point you can talk about it like that, I don't wanna know what else you've gone through.
[Or Nero is recognizing it did something to him that maybe it never did to humans. To someone like Steve, where a dedicated duck could kill him. Nero's lived his life up to this point like nothing could... until magic bullshit and a hole in an island changed his mind.
Fuck. He doesn't want to think about it.]
Don't worry about it. This place is ass, but it's still just another world. And if it brought your friend back to life... I mean, I don't think it's bad to appreciate that. For you, or for him. Or to be fucked up about it.
[That's probably all he can say on it. Steve's gonna have to approach it, in the end, though Nero doesn't mind helping after, either.
He thinks that's it. Steve will either bring it up or he won't, but -- of course there's one last thing.
Nero almost scoffs at it. Not in derision, but in non-surprise. Of course. Not that he ever thought about it himself.]
Yeah. I guess I know now. Thanks, buddy.
[He's not sure Steve's ready for the whole thing, though. It was weird enough trying to explain the tail and wings. Just magic.]
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( god, he misses her. )
but talking to nero also isn't hard. whatever it is that's led them here, steve feels like he can. doesn't feel like he's being judged. even when nero calls him kid, steve feels like he's got something from this. ][ it's a good thing steve can't get any of nero's inner dialogue, because while the 'dedicated duck' comment isn't wrong, it would definitely hurt his feelings.
but nero's point does still stand - steve feels better because he's now got a next step, a plan. really, steve needs to come out and tell nero one of these days just how much he does help, but that would involve a lot more talking and emotions than either of them are really...capable of in this moment. ] [ and that's all there really is to say. steve knows what he needs to do with eddie, knows what he's going to do. and now nero...well. now nero knows he can talk to steve too. he doesn't know if nero is actually taking it into account, but it is a first step. a reminder. ]
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But maybe it's... yeah. It's not a bad feeling.]
I got your back, Steve. Promise.
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Thanks.
It really --
Yeah.